Oh So Sorry...

It hurts my heart to see my husband even in a bad mood.  He's such a good hearted well meaning person that it rips my heart out to see him disillusioned, disappointed, and disheartened.  We had found a church to go to that was semi excepting of my tattooed self, (the opposite of all the churches we'd tried before that loved him and wished to ignore me into nonexistence) geared toward unchurched people...but they were not excepting of my  all american, typical normal christian husband.  They acted as if he was a spy come in to destroy the unchurchiness they had developed.  I was on my way out of believing there was ever a church that would except me anyway (was only saved two years ago and vastly disappointed in these "christian" people, giving jesus a bad rap is what they are doing) so suffice it to say I was not all that suprised when my belief that we'd finally found a church began to fall apart...not because they didn't except me this time...but by the way they treated him.  We are taking a break from church and I'm not sure how long for.  The foreseable future perhaps, fine by me I'm so irritated with judgemental Judases that I'm to the point of not carrying if we go back.  What hurts me is that my husband who has been such a steadfast example of a good christian: accepting, non judgemental, and an upright example for others around him now is agreeing with me.  It breaks my heart to see him disillusioned.  I'm world weary and used to being hurt by others and expecting the worst to happen is kinda par for the course when I get on a pessimistic streak...but not him.  He's the ultimate optimist who always sees the positive in any situation...I guess that's how he can put up with me and my craziness the way he does ( I have borderline personality disorder with extreme manic depressive episodes)  He is my saint.  He saved me spiritually and literally from a life of self destruction and pain.  He deserves better than to be treated like he's got an agenda of some sort.  His only agenda is to find a spiritual home that will accept the both of us equally and love us in spite of our differences and not push us away because of them.  I feel so sorry for these people...Oh So Sorry, because they will never know this awesome person whom I am married to.  They refused to give him a chance and ended up robbing themselves.  They don't deserve to know him, and they can all kiss my A**  I won't apologize for saying it that way, I mean every syllable...I'm done.  Fed up.  Over It.  Sayonara.

On a brighter more upbeat note...I Got A Job!  Did a phone interview today and she liked me and my answers so much she hired me on the spot :)  Go in Monday for the drug test (first time in my life I can say NO PROBLEMO bring on the dipstick lol, actually got kinda giddy when I realized that) and to get my pic taken for my ID badge and then I start a paid five week training course on the 9th of May.   I'm really excited to be out around grown ups again lmao.  I've gotta be careful not to slip into baby talk...anybody else ever had trouble with that after being around nothing but kids under the age of 8 for awhile?  We are going to get my cell phone turned back on --finally-- once I start working again cause the hubby is paranoid about me leaving the house without a phone.  At first I'll basically be paying for gas with a few hundred left over each month, but it is more than worth it just to get outta the house for a little while.  I'm gonna go for now cyber folks gotta go set my pin curls...Marilyn style of course (did you expect any less?  I think not)
My warmest regards to you dear friends and I leave you with this to ponder:

"Imperfection is beauty.  Madness is genius and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring"

-Marilyn Monroe